i should have seriously gone thru job advertisements and descriptions before i took up any poly courses. i was sixteen, naive, clueless, too young so to say. i keep following my intuition like it's the onli thing i could really depend on in my life of predicted uncertainty. like i wana do dis and i wana do dat. but its all so unrealistic. pursuing dreams that are just dreams. but little that i noe tt life is real. i gotta noe wad job requirements are so i can browse thru poly courses and see if wad they offer really suits the employers' expectations. im saying this now bcoz from my experience in poly for 3 yrs pursuing an electronic and computer engineering diploma -which by the way i was put in unexpectedly but i still believed its fate's doings - i feel tt the things that i learn, theoratically and practically is just too basic to be placed upon the bigger picture of the REAL job. i wasnt even sure myself what the real job was. what i was putting three years of my time into. what lies ahead of me..

what i heard three yrs ago were just vague ideas that the course was widescoped [whatever heck the scope was i had no idea], tall tales of wide opportunities lying ahead of me, electives that i took up which onli offered one pathetic semester of much cut-off syllabuses [i mean whats with that? as a school, a polytechnic to be specific, ure supposed to teach us what we students are expected to noe and not what we demand to be taught coz in the end you're throwing us out into the big industry one day! why do the department occasionally send out feedbacks wif qns like asking students if workload or theories are too much for them. of coz the useless, unmotivated students wd give a big yes to that but its unfair for those who are willing to slog off their heart and soul for their education.. ] well yeah it makes our lives easier if syllabuses are being cut down and all but at the end of the day, i fail to feel satisfied wif wad i learn during the stipulated time coz i noe now that the industry demands more which im afraid i cannot offer. the cold and sad reality of life. but what do the department care? they are more into ur attendance, ur grades, safety, discipline and whether they'll be expecting and extra thousand or two into their fees input if u repeat a module or semester. after u graduate, ure on ur own. if ure a top student, congratulations on being accepted into the local universities. if ure an average student [like myself] go figure out ur own life!

when i first entered poly, i was too occupied wif menial things like getting used to a new life, making new friends, dealing with a new environment, thinking of what cca's to join - in the end i decided on none anyway - all that non-industrial related crap, well of coz they were as important for my emotional well being but the point that im trying to drive in is tt i never really thot of the future of pursuing this course. well i simply thot..im in it..so lets just be over and done wif it. i had no financial problems wif continuing my studies so basically ive been ignorant and complacent.

this entry is not over yet. i shall continue my 'lecture' soon as i have pacified my grumbling stomach. i'll be back!